Written by the Renew & Revitalize Life Coaching Team
If you’ve recently experienced a divorce, you’re far from being alone; in fact, over 782,000 couples filed for divorce in 2018 according to the CDC. Depending on the reason behind the dissolution of your marriage, your divorce may have come as a relief after a stressful, negative, or even abusive partnership. Alternatively, you may be struggling with the loss of the relationship itself after a sudden or unwanted divorce.
No matter the reasoning or the terms associated with your divorce, you’re entering a new phase in your life that will be much different than the marriage you’re leaving behind. With this transitionary period often comes some feelings of confusion and uncertainty regarding how to proceed. This brief, three-step guide to getting back on track after a divorce could help you.
Step 1 – Take Stock of Your Life and Address Your Feelings
Divorce offers you a unique opportunity to consider your life so far and begin planning a future anew. In fact, it’s an opportunity many people who remain married just don’t get, so take advantage of the situation while you can. Begin by addressing the slew of emotions that come along with divorce, then seeking the services of a life coach.
With the help of a life coach, you can address your past as well as your current situation without the emotions or opinions of friends or family to confuse the process. A life coach can help you explore how to move into the future. Addressing your emotions separately allows you to make decisions based on your priorities instead of your feelings. Consider the ramifications of the actions you’ve taken in the past and begin considering the shape you’d like your future to take.
Step 2 – Identify Your Goals and Make a Plan to Reach Them
Now it’s time to begin thinking about what’s next. “To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and to learn from your past experiences to prepare yourself for the next exciting chapter of your life,” says Mark Banschick, MD, author of The Intelligent Divorce. The period after a divorce is prime time to identify your priorities – what’s important to you?
Where would you prefer to see your life taking you in a year (or five, or ten)? Of course, it’s not enough to simply outline your wants and desires; instead, take the time to formulate well-defined, thought-out goals. With the help of your life coach, make a detailed plan to reach your goals, complete with steps along the way.
Step 3 – Design a Life That Will Give You Happiness
In the process of reaching your long-term goals, create a series of projects that reflect the smaller steps you’ve identified during step two. You’ll benefit from a clearly outlined calendar that delineates your timeline for each part of each project. Remember, the overarching theme of these projects, as well as the ultimate goals they support, is creating a life that will bring you happiness.
Divorce is stressful, there’s no disputing that fact. Utilizing the services of a life coach won’t make the divorce itself less challenging, but coaching can help you gain clarity on how to work towards the future. Consider hiring a coach to help you approach each step listed above in a way that offers a strong framework to design your plans to move forward.